How to Attract Emotionally Distant Woman

79

By BizGenGirl

That woman...

There is a time in every mans life when he will run into a woman who seems beyond emotionally distant. She might seem emotionless all together, or simply seem to lack any valuable emotions around the man who wants to capture her heart. Essentially, it seems like a woman that you can't have, and that makes her even more valuable.

When you run into a woman of this nature, you have two choices. 1. You can choose to ignore that instinctual impulse to climb and conquer, because it's mostly just lust you're experiencing. Or 2. you find a way to help this woman become attracted to you, in the hopes that a relationship will bud from there.

If you're going with the latter option, then keep reading.

Be Aloof

Aloofness can be a hard characteristic to grab just the right way. Some will refer to it as being a jerk or acting apathetic, but that's not really what being aloof is about.

The idea, is that this woman is probably very used to getting a lot of attention from the men folk in her environment. So if you add yourself to the ranks of men swooning over her, then you're automatically off her radar. She wants a man who will intrigue her and do something different from the rest of the men her life. She's already got plenty of flatterers, and probably plenty of jerks in her life, so you need to be that one special guy who is neither her obsessed follower or a jerk. You need to be aloof.

You can practice being aloof by not giving her any undue attention and by toning down the attention that is due to her. Don't blow her off or ignore her, but make giving her your direct attention, your last priority. When she comes into a room, find something else to do or someone else to talk to. When she's near you, keep yourself focuses away from her. If she starts up a conversation, listen and respond, but try to get away from the conversation politely and quickly, as if you had something more important to pay attention to.

Flirt with everyone else

Flirting is a special kind of friendly behavior. When you flirt with someone, you give them your full attention, at least for a moment. You let them feel a little bit special because you are giving them that full attention and are not likely to be very attracted by some other distraction in the room.

The trick to this tip, is to make sure that you are flirting with everyone in the room. Men and women a like. Your goal isn't to over do it, or to accidentally attract someone else, so do be careful and courteous. Your goal is to show that you can be flirtatious, and are on a regular basis, but that you are specifically not giving that attention to the woman of your true desire.

This tip works so well, because most emotionally distant woman are usually the type of woman who wants to chase, not be chased. So by flirting with others in the room and being aloof, you are giving her the opportunity to chase you.

Become her friend

What is a true friend?

They are someone that we can act naturally around. Someone we don't have to show off for. Someone that we can rely on and that we can open up to. A true friend is a person we trust and are loyal to.

So if you thought that above steps were difficult, adding this one to the mix make things seem harder from your current perspective, but they will win over an emotionally distant woman a lot sooner than any other method.

Aside from preferring to chase, many emotionally distant women have been hurt in their past relationships. It probably doesn't help anything that they often ignore the nice honest guys, and go for the jerks who are acting apathetic. So these women are really seeking a companion. Someone who can do more than just satisfy their carnal urges. Someone who can be a true friend.

If you can prove yourself to be friendship material, then you can get in the door to becoming this woman's friend. From there it's up to you whether or not she's worth getting into a relationship with. Becoming her true friend, might show you some sides of her that just aren't that appealing, so keep that in mind.

In order to get the opportunity to be her friend, you'll want to make some opportunities for her to get to know you, without forcing it on her. Try inviting a bunch of your mutual friends to a party and have them invite the woman of your desire to come to the party. Or show up with a small group of friends, at a place that you know your woman usually hangs out at. Get creative here, to make sure the opportunities for friendship are available, but don't cross over into the stalker realm...

Be open and honest about who you really are

I know this can be a complicated tip when you are purposefully trying to be aloof and flirtatious around this woman, when you'd really rather be fawning over her and treating her like a queen. But you still have to figure out how to make it work for you. You need to be calm and collected around her, but still give her the chance to get to know the real you.

Part of doing this, is already wrapped up in becoming her friend, but even if you don't get that opportunity, you still need to give this woman the chance to get to know the real you. Without giving her any undue attention and without ignoring her. This is best done in groups of friends, where everyone can be open and share, and not just you.

Don't say yes to the first offer

It's a basic rule in business that also applies to dating. NEVER say yes to the first offer. If you can help it, try to avoid saying yes to even the second offer, but hint that another offer might sway your attention.

This works particularly well with emotionally distant women, especially when they already know that they've got at least a little bit of your attention. If they are a woman who is used to being the center of attention, or whom seems to hide their romantic feelings from you, then she will be intrigued by your ability to turn her down. It will heighten that "hunt" instinct in her and make you seem all that more appealing. If you gave in on her first try, you're too easy and she'll probably be done with you in an instant.

Comments

Mary Stuart profile image

Mary Stuart Level 3 Commenter 9 months ago

That is so true!!! I am afraid I am one of those emotionally distant women you write so eloquently of. I don't mean to be but that red flag of distrust rears its ugly head and I find myself pulling away from great guys. The one mn who is capturing my heart has been my true friend for 4 years now. the going is slow but maybe it will be worth it when all is said an done. You gave great advice.

Tiffany 2 months ago

this is so me :((( i hate it i wish i were different.

BizGenGirl profile image

BizGenGirl Hub Author 2 months ago

It could be different if you really wanted it to be =)

Mary Stuart profile image

Mary Stuart Level 3 Commenter 2 months ago

I suppose it could be different if I found the power to let it be. I have considered that quite earnestly. Perhaps I am so skittish that I sabotage myself. I have certainly considered that! I know that I am terribly distrustful and nervous when a relationship begins to heat up. I get that "deer in the headlights... RUN!" thing going through my brain and I follow my flight instinct. Too bad. There are some great men out there. I think your point about being a friend is a super good one. The one relationship I enjoyed since my divorce was with a really, really good friend. He showed himself to be kind, consistent, down to earth, and steady. I felt secure and protected with him. The odd thing is that I shoved him away all the while screaming on the inside, "DON"T!!!!" I knew he was a very good man but something inside of me trembled when he did nice things for me. I wondered what it would end up costing me and what he would do to me because I needed help. Truth is, he would have done nothing mean. He knew my marriage had been rough but he had no idea how rough. I think if I had been more upfront with my inside pain and my past it would have helped him to understand why I trembled when he was nice. hat is something to think about should I ever risked it again. I hope I do take the risk again. It would be nice to meet a kind man.

BizGenGirl profile image

BizGenGirl Hub Author 2 months ago

Sometimes the first step to growth is simply the acknowledgment that we need to grow ;)

mwwa profile image

mwwa 2 weeks ago

Great article and great advice!! Funny how only women are commenting though :)

BizGenGirl profile image

BizGenGirl Hub Author 13 days ago

Yes, that is kind of funny. I think women are just a bit more self aware of themselves though, cause we seek info about ourselves, whereas men probably just browse this article real quick with not comments, lol

mwwa profile image

mwwa 13 days ago

true true. hopefully they apply the advice and dont give up!

BizGenGirl profile image

BizGenGirl Hub Author 12 days ago

I hope so! Or at least, I hope no one is afraid to ask question here if my hub didn't answer all their questions =)

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